SB Newspress Half Marathon Race Recap

I PR’ed: 1:41:05. 11th in my age group of 311, 195th overall.

I had all my stuff layed out the night before as usual.  But I couldn’t pick up my packet until race morning because we got into town too late.  I hate to do this because I’m anal retentive I want everything ready to go on race morning so I can focus on where the porta potties are and make my 14 peepee trips.

Saturday morning I got up at 6, race started at 8.  I made sure to eat my Clif bar 75 mins before the race so everything would be in my stomache and not my throat.

Our hote was .75 mile away from the start which was super convenient.  I took this picture as I was going to get my packet.

I got my packet and am ready except that I don’t have any coffee running through my veins because our room didn’t have a coffee maker.  So I went to a nearby 7-11 and grabbed a big cup.  This is SO out of my normal race routine but I tried to just go with the flow because what else was I gonna do?  Run without coffee?  yeah right.

I had never worn this shirt before; Jaybeezy bought it for me a long time ago for about $4 at Ross.  Problem was that it rode up like a Britney Spears baby tee.  If my stomache was made of anything besides donuts and candy I wouldn’t have a problem with this.  So I was adjusting myself the entire race,  like a guy with bad jock itch.

So the race starts; I’m in a good starting position and all is well.  This course has slight rolling hills so I thought there’s no way I can PR on a course that’s not completely flat so I’m just gonna run hard and enjoy the scenery.  (By scenery I mean Andrew Firestone)

I barely look at my garmin the entire race.  Normally I’m obsessively checking it like it’s TMZ.  I just run at a pace that feels like I’m pushing it but sustainable.  I take a GU at 7 and one at mile 10.  I don’t think the second GU was necessary, but you can’t argue with a PR can ya?

The first 5 are rolling hills then it flattens out for about 3 miles, couple more small hills and then flat again.  We ran by Ty Warner’s megamansion.  He started Beanie Babies and now collects expensive real estate like I collect Starbucks mugs.

Who would ever think you could become a billionaire from making something as dumb and ugly as that clown in the yellow outfit?  Good ‘ol capitalism…  If anyone’s WAY behind the cool curve and wants to buy a couple Beanie Babies, like 200, call me.  I’ve got them. unfortunately.

So I just keep running hard and thinking of a way I can make a billion dollars.  I don’t come up with any feasible idea, but I do cross the finish line at 1:41:05.  I beat my old PR by over a minute and am pretty much shocked.  My average pace was 7:43/mile.

I think it really helped that I wasn’t looking at my garmin and mentally psyching myself out…. Can I sustain this pace??  Oh man, it’s only been .25 mile since last time I checked, I have so far to go.  I’m going too fast, I’m gonna die…

And best of all, my thutt didn’t hurt at all during the race.  PRAISE THE LORD from the rafters!  It was sore afterwards but no pain.  I warmed up with a mile jog and cooled down with a 75. mile walk, but I didn’t do any extra miles after the race.  I don’t think this whole “running more miles after a race” thing is ever going to happen…

And best BEST of all, I beat Andrew Firestone!

Firestone, of The Bachelor, Firestone Vineyards, Firestone Tires, finished in 1:52:58.  Unfortunately I didn’t even get to see him.  Had I known he was running, I’m positive I would have slowed down just to catch a glimpse.  Yes, I’m a pathetic pseudo-celebrity stalker.  But one with a new PR!  Booyah!

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